


Falling

by Rattlesnake



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Artists, Angst with a Happy Ending, Denial of Feelings, Hux in denial, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-02-29 16:29:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18781942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rattlesnake/pseuds/Rattlesnake
Summary: The craziest thing Armitage did in his life was fall in love with artist Kylo Ren. And he just knows this will not end well.





	1. Stars Hide Your Fires

Armitage Hux turned the small black card between his fingers. He knew he was going to regret this. He should just throw it in the bin, open a new tab on his laptop and work for another hour or two until he was tired to death, then go home and straight to bed. 

He leaned back in his expensive office chair and looked out at the city through the floor-to-ceiling window opposite his desk. He hated that view. Hated this desk. Hated his job. He even hated his apartment, where he only ever went to sleep and the carefully designed interior of his office.

There was only one thing he did not hate about his life right now, and that man might have given him the small card, he was holding. It felt as if the paper was alive and vibrating in his hand. 

“Stars Hide your Fires. Kylo Ren”, it read. Apart from that only the time and place of the exhibition were given. No pictures, no indication of what awaited the visitor. Understandable, Hux thought. Kylo’s visions could not be grasped and they certainly could not be captured on a card as small as this. He remembered well the first time he had experienced one of Kylo’s installations and how rattled it had left him. His art was painful, haunting. A desperate scream into the void. Armitage would always admire it. Even after Kylo had left his life that he had entered like a thunderstorm, turning everything upside down.

He was out in the streets before he really knew what he was doing. It was always like this with Kylo. His rationality left him wherever the artist was concerned. He bowed his head against the light drizzle of rain that turned London into the well known Urban fairy-tale of reflecting asphalt and streetlights gleaming through the fog. He hadn’t brought his umbrella and his Armani shoes were getting stained, but he didn’t care, because he was concerned about the unstoppable nature of his actions. It felt as if he didn’t have free will anymore. 

He had fought against this. After the first month that had sucked him into a maelstrom of desire and hunger, he had managed to become free again for a while. Despite what his father thought about him he was a fighter and he had not willingly succumbed to those strange fits of passion that had drawn him to Kylo Ren. And yet there was still that aching need inside of him, that longing he could not resist.

Meeting Kylo had been an accident in more than one way. He hadn’t even known there was an exhibition at Elephant and Castle when he had entered the station late at night on his way home from work. He never looked at posters and advertisements or if he did, they never registered with him. He had always thought of art as a waste of time, something people who had no idea what to do with themselves spent their lives on. A sentiment directly inherited from his father who had rejected anything that didn’t lead to immediate success.

At first, he had just wanted to leave and get home as fast as possible. The lights, the sounds had confused him and triggered every instinct to run. But at the same time the graffities on the walls had drawn him in and he could not look away. He hadn’t been able to grasp them: bizarre landscapes, planets, war … were those androids? 

Chaos. Darkness. Death.

And then between all of that, lines written on the walls in the most distinct handwriting he had ever seen. As if a beautiful mind was trying to make sense of all that was happening, to tame the abyss.

He had found himself sitting on one of the benches, staring at a row of portraits, that were created from tiny LED lights with different degrees of luminosity, making it seem as if the faces were drawn from stars. A girl and two young men, one of them black and one Latino. He couldn’t bring himself to get up and walk away, even though he had an important meeting the next day. He just could not leave until he had found out what those three faces really looked like. It seemed to be of vital importance. They were drawing him in and now the music also made sense and resounded in his head. Did other people experience this feeling more often? Because then he understood. Art. Literature. Movies. Did they invoke these sensations in other people? Was that why so many seemed to indulge in them?

“Rey, Poe and Finn”, someone said, and Armitage looked up, feeling like a child that had observed an anthill in the forest for so long it had almost forgotten it wasn’t his own world. 

“Hm?” he asked, looking up at the tall dark-haired stranger who was standing next to him. He was barefoot, wearing blue Jeans and a black T-Shirt. The most attractive man Armitage had ever seen. He felt longing well up inside of him and was half amused at himself, half irritated. Hadn’t he learned anything?  
“They are the centrepiece of this exhibition. The heart. You seem to have noticed.”

“Oh, so you are the artist?” Armitage asked. It figured. The man looked driven, desperate enough to create something like this. Armitage’s heart clenched in a way it had only ever done before when he was hurt or humiliated or watched someone else be hurt or humiliated. Maybe because he already anticipated to be.  
“Yeah, I kind of am.” The man looked a little sheepish, which Armitage hadn’t expected. He almost seemed a little troubled by the fact he had outed himself like that. “Sorry, I didn’t want to boast. I just found it interesting you found this set of pictures.”

“They are intriguing”, Armitage said and something inside of him told him to go, leave now, just forget about this. This isn’t real and this isn’t for you. There’s danger here.

But Kylo’s next sentence and the fact that he was lightly blushing while saying it had decided his fate. “It means a lot to me that you say that. Can I invite you for a drink?”

“They sell drinks here?”

“No. Let’s leave together. I’ve answered enough questions for one night.”

Armitage remembered all of it so well. The night that had changed his life and no matter how much he tried, he would never be able to fully come back from that. He shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his Burberry coat but was still shivering while he was waiting for the tub. Why was he remembering it all so vividly tonight?

He hadn’t even meant to go to Kylo’s exhibition when he had found the invitation in his mail. Had Kylo sent it? He couldn’t really believe it, after he had removed himself so effectively from the artist’s life. 

His tub arrived and the way it’s lights rushed into the station reminded him of their first night together. He had only had one drink at the pub close to Kylo’s exhibition and it was unusual that he had agreed to go home with him after that. It was a very long time since he hadn’t been drunk or at least half-drunk for a one-night-stand. 

His first time with Kylo had felt like a burning wave, overflowing him and taking so many of his inhibitions and restraints. It should have been awkward, because it happened in Kylo’s studio on a mattress between unfinished drawings and daring installations, one of which they’d completely wrecked in the process. He’d never had sex like that, and he remembered how he had clung to Kylo, screamed his name. It wasn’t like him to let go like that and it left him feel a little embarrassed and torn until this day. Kylo had seen him naked in a way he had never allowed anyone else to see him. More than naked. Exposed.

It had been humiliating to search for his clothes that were scattered over the dark studio afterwards. Kylo had offered him to stay but of course he knew that wasn’t to be taken seriously. He’d learned enough about Kylo that night to understand he was a free spirit, not to be held down by any restraints. And he wouldn’t embarrass himself further by trying to draw this out.

Still, he couldn’t resist when Kylo asked for his number and he had scribbled it onto a piece of paper he was sure Kylo wouldn’t even endeavour to find in the morning. 

The subway was crowded, and he moved to the very back of the waggon. He would get off at the last station and here at least he wasn’t squashed between other people. He hated this and avoided taking the underground despite living in London. Tonight, it couldn’t be helped, though, if he wanted to get to the exhibition. He looked around and decided that some of the other passengers probably had the same destination. There were young men with black coats and long hair, girls looking beautiful and sophisticated with glasses, boots and skirts and a few older women with intelligent eyes. The typical clientele for Kylo’s art. 

Well, Kylo had called him the next day, to Armitage’s utter surprise. And he hadn’t known how to deal with it at all. On their first date Kylo had taken him to London’s rooftops and they’d had a walk under the stars, followed by a picnic of Pad Thai. They had made love up there. The most uncomfortable and unforgettable sex Armitage had ever had. The next day he had spent in bed – in his own, calling in sick for the first time in three years. Again, he had been sure he’d never see Kylo again.

There was a poster of one of Kylo’s artwork on the wall of the subway car, he noticed. A poem written over a deathly dark planet. Two of the boys were taking pictures of it. He understood. It was intriguing and he had felt drawn to that work when he’d first seen in in Kylo’s studio. It was enormous, something meant for exhibitions, not for living rooms. Than again who would want something like that in their home?

A week later Kylo had called again and Armitage had had the strangest date of his whole life. Not that he had gone on many. Kylo had picked him up in a black Seat that looked almost antique and they drove out of the city to a gas station in the middle of nowhere. Kylo got them coffee and wine from inside as well as a packet of salted peanuts and they sat in the car talking. For some reason Armitage hadn’t really understood, Kylo liked the place and felt inspired here. It was weird, but it was also amazing to sit next to him and talk about anything that entered his mind. They’d also smoked a joint together out there and Armitage had pretended he’d done that more than once before. 

They’d attempted to make love in the car, but it was impossible so at some point they’d tumbled out of it and continued on the ground, not caring who might see them.

Armitage had never in his life not cared who saw him. 

After three months of strange meetings and mind-blowing sex he had panicked, because he realized he was going down a dangerous road he had always wanted to steer clear from. Since he’d known Kylo, his performance at work had deteriorated and he was afraid he wasn’t going to get promoted, something he had been working towards for the last two years. It wasn’t only that. His thoughts had constantly been filled with Kylo as if he was bewitched by him, despite telling himself that this was not going to lead anywhere.

Between their dates he had never heard from Kylo and had still constantly checked his mobile phone for messages from him, sometimes three times in one minute. 

He couldn’t go on like that. It was driving him insane.

And the next time Kylo had stood in front of his door he had told him to leave, told him he didn’t want to keep seeing him, told him it was all over. “This isn’t my world”, he had shouted at him. “And you’re not going to pull me into yours.”

Kylo had left without protest and Armitage had blocked him on all his accounts, blocked his number. He was quite sure that Kylo would not have called him anyway, though. Why should he fight for someone when he could have anyone? When he had several other love interests beside Armitage. Armitage was aware that there were others beside him, that they weren’t exclusive. And they sure as hell didn’t make a good couple. Not even a couple with potential.

Armitage had gotten his promotion two weeks later along with his new office and a new group of people that worked for him. It had resulted in even less sleep and more anxiety attacks and self-loathing and for the first time in his career he had wondered why he was doing this. Feeling nauseous before work every morning had to mean he wasn’t really fit for the job he was doing. Why had he never wondered about this before? Why had he wanted the position as CEO of their administrative department so badly? He didn’t need the money as he did not enjoy spending it in the least. The job wasn’t interesting, he didn’t like the people who were working for him and he had a feeling that some of them loathed him. Why had this promotion been so important to him?

He hadn’t realized that Kylo must be rich until after they had separated. Afterwards he’d frantically searched the net for him and his artwork and learned that his pieces were sold for the highest prices on auctions. Since Kylo had always dressed like a beggar and lived in his studio he had never guessed that. He wasn’t even sure if Kylo got the money, because he seemed just like the type to let some unscrupulous manager pull a fast one on him. 

The only thing Kylo ever seemed to worry and care about were his three best friends. His cousin Rey and the couple Finn and Poe. They were soldiers and had been stationed in Afghanistan for four years. They’d all returned half a year ago, Finn deeply traumatized. Kylo’s whole world revolved around those three people and Armitage had to admit he found his loyalty towards them amazing. The concept of friendship had always been elusive to him and he had always suspected it was more a way to take advantage of others. But those four seemed genuine, as far as he could say.

As he had expected, a whole crowd of people left the subway car with him at the last station. There was an aura of excitement among them as it was typical at Kylo’s exhibitions and Armitage felt affected by it. There was a giddiness, a touch of expectation inside of him, as if he was about to have another date with Kylo.  
He had to remind himself that this was far from the truth. As he walked the path towards the old factory building under chestnut trees that were shedding their leaves, he was aware that he was not special. Nothing set him apart anymore from all the other visitors, who were talking to each other in quiet but excited voices, laughing sometimes and greeting each other.

It felt more as if they were about to visit a concert than an exhibition, though not as loud. 

The old armour factory, that had been closed over fifty years ago seemed like the perfect location for Kylo’s art. There was still something menacing about the high windows, some of which were broken, and the unwelcoming iron gates. Or maybe only Armitage felt that. Two of Kylo’s graffities now adorned the high brick walls and they would obviously stay, after the exhibition was closed.

Why had he come here?

Just before passing the gates he felt so self-conscious suddenly that he almost turned around to leave. Only the thought that it would draw more attention to him if he walked in the other direction now made him go on.

What if he walked into Rey, Poe or Finn? Why had he not thought about that before coming? They would certainly be here to support their friend. Or worse, what if he found himself face to face with Kylo? He had no idea how to react then. 

Still, he didn’t want to leave.

He took a glass of Gin Tonic from one of the round tables that were positioned in the factory’s courtyard. Alcohol was just what he needed to find the courage to enter the main hall. The liquid prickled in his throat, because he had drunk too fast and he nearly had a coughing fit. Pretending he was interested in the graffities on the walls he looked around to make sure Kylo or his friends were nowhere in sight. He seemed to be safe.

“Hux?” he heard a surprised voice ask just then and turned around to be faced with Dorian Dark, an artist that Kylo associated and – as Hux suspected – slept with. The guy was just as pretentious and over the top as his alias suggested. Hux had met him a few times and Dark had always made sure Hux knew how surprised he was Kylo dated a boring and ordinary guy like him.

“Good to meet you here”, Dark said, one eye-brow raised. “I didn’t know you were still seeing Kylo.”

I wasn’t a question and Hux didn’t feel like answering. He took another sip from his gin and pointedly looked at the graffiti of Finn’s face right in front of him.  
“Have you heard that Kylo and me are planning an exhibition this winter?”

“No.” 

“It’s going to be amazing. You should come.” Dark gave him one of his fake smiles and Armitage swallowed the last of his drink. He wanted another one. Bad. Whiskey would have been even better.

“I might”, he said, hoping to get rid of Dark that way and it seemed to be working. Dark gave him a little grin that felt condescending to Hux. He might have been imagining that, though.

He was ready to leave. But there was still that little flicker of hope inside of him that it had in fact been Kylo who had sent him the flyer. Maybe he would get a chance tonight, to apologize for ending things out of the blue and without a real explanation. Even though he still knew he had done the right thing, there was also nothing in is life he regretted more.

He spent some more time in the courtyard, wandering from one graffiti or portrait to the next and trying to work up the courage to go inside. It took him two more Gin Tonics to finally do it. 

It felt like entering another world. Millions of tiny lights were shining from the high ceiling, like stars and a massive black form was suspended from the centre. It seemed to swallow all the light, so the room was kept in semi-darkness. There were sounds coming from everywhere, screeching, drumming, then again melodious and beautiful. The pieces of art along the walls were only illuminated every now and then so you had to catch the right moment to look at them and the light always shone too short so there was no chance to really grasp them. Sometimes there were bright flashes of light that hurt the eyes and then again, the room was set in total darkness for a few minutes. It was simply too much to bear and Hux asked himself not for the first time what was going on in a mind like Kylo’s. it was a little frightening, yet fascinating. 

He spotted Finn and Poe close by and moved in the other direction, heart beating fast.

Maybe it was bad luck but Hux almost believed it was fate that he walked in on Kylo and Dark when he rounded a corner, trying to get away from the spectacle that was the Great Hall. The corridor he had entered was illuminated only by a few candles, but he would have recognized Kylo anywhere. At first it wasn’t even that he really saw him, it was more that stinging sensation in his heart that told him he was close by. At least he had the presence of mind to stay completely still and not draw attention to himself. They were still a long way down the corridor and hadn’t noticed him yet.

Kylo was leaning against the wall and Dark stood close to him. Too close for it to be anything but flirty. He was talking to Kylo in a soft tone and it was more than clear that they would be kissing in a few moments. Hux did not need to see that. 

He wasn’t really sure how he managed to get back to the hall, cross it and find the exit, because his mind was racing, and his knees felt like jelly. Why had he come here? How could he make such a fool of himself? Of course, Kylo had moved on. It had been weeks since they had even talked, and they had never been explicitly exclusive. Everything between them had always been fun and games, at least for Kylo. Because Hux wasn’t sure anymore what it had been for him. Certainly, it wasn’t supposed to hurt this much if you had only ever meant to have fun with someone right?

He felt sober now and there was an ache in his chest as if his heart was being squeezed by a giant fist. Strange. He had never felt anything like that. For a moment he had to stop and lean against a wall near the exit. 

Closing his eyes, he tried to catch his breath. It felt as if he had run a mile. He had been lucky. What if he had met Kylo alone? What if he had told him he was sorry? At least now he would be able to leave and Kylo would never know he had been here. He would move on with his life and finally try to forget about everything connected to the artist.

Straightening himself he walked towards the exit. Just as he was passing the gate, he felt a hand on his shoulder. “Armitage?”

He turned around to be faced with Finn’s warm brown eyes, a look of surprise in them. “Why are you leaving?” he asked.

So, he wasn’t even surprised Hux was here. That’s how pathetic he was. “I – I need to get home”, he said. 

“The exhibition just opened. Did you see everything?”

“Yes. No. I have to go, Finn.”

Finn smiled. “You don’t have to. But of course, I won’t hold you back.”

“Could you –“ Armitage faltered. He couldn’t ask Finn to not tell Kylo he had been here. He had already made a show of himself.

Never mind. He turned around and walked away quickly, as if he was running away from something. 

And maybe he was.


	2. Sharks in the Water

He should have gotten something different than Gin. The taste reminded him of the exhibition he had visited yesterday. Also, it was Kylo’s favourite drink, so why had he not bought Whiskey? Still it did the job and he had already emptied half a bottle. Things were starting to become a little less unbearable and the ache in his chest slowly subsided. He felt almost relaxed now.

Saturdays were his least favourite days of the week. Closely followed by Sundays. He didn’t like his work, but at least it gave him something to do. It was the weekends that really showed him how empty his life was, and they dragged on and on. Sometimes he went out on Saturday nights, forcing himself to watch a movie at the cinema or have a drink at a bar but he was always glad when he finally got back home.

Today his only goal was to survive. He never allowed himself to drink except on Saturdays, so at least there was a silver lining to this day. The reason for his non-drinking policy was that he felt it could soon become a habit for him, because he loved the way it made him feel. Everything was a little lighter, a little less sharp-edged after a few drinks. He looked at the bottle and decided he had to stop now, unfortunately. If he didn’t there would be a major headache tomorrow and he really didn’t need that. He had an important meeting to prepare and he had planned to work all Sunday on it. 

There was a strange sound and he needed a moment to realize it was the doorbell. He almost never heard it, because he didn’t have visitors and post was delivered to his office. Also, he was almost never home.

For a moment he considered not opening at all but then the fleeting thought that it might be Kylo entered his mind. Of course, that should have been another reason not to open the door. Unfortunately, it wasn’t. Preparing to be disappointed he went to open and was face to face with Kylo Ren himself. 

“No.” Armitage said.

Kylo looked at him, eyes wide, lips slightly parted. It seemed as if he had been sure the door would not open for him. “No?”

“I mean what are you doing here?”

Kylo hesitated for a moment. “I wanted to talk to you. Can I come in?” He put one hand against the doorframe, as if wanting to prevent Armitage from closing the door. 

“This is not a good idea”, Armitage said, but he opened the door wider and Kylo stepped inside his apartment.

“I’ve never been here”, he said, kneeling down to open his Chucks. So, he was wearing shoes today. Armitage was glad about that. What he wasn’t glad about was the way his heart was pounding in his ribcage and his hands started to get sweaty just from seeing Kylo kneel on his floor. How could it be that he still had that spell on him? 

“It looks so empty.”

“It’s called minimalistic”, Armitage said and there was venom in his voice he hadn’t intended to be there. “Did you think it would be a chaotic mess like your studio?”

“No, of course not.” Kylo got up and ran a hand through his messy hair. Armitage asked himself if he did it on purpose, because he had always loved that gesture so much. And it made him want to touch Kylo’s hair. Even though that was probably due to the gin.

“I’ll get you a drink”, he said. “You can sit down.”

He fled to the kitchen and took a moment to compose himself, before he remembered the gin was in the living room where Kylo was right now. To save face he got a glass from the kitchen cupboard and went over. “Still gin?”

“Yes, please.”

“It’s an awful drink, you know?”

He purred Kylo half a glass and handed it to him, making sure their fingertips didn’t touch. 

Kylo took a swig, looking up at Armitage with that questioning gaze he had. His eyes were so dark, the look in them so intense. It made a warm shiver run down Armitage’s spine and he purred himself another drink. To hell with tomorrow.

“Finn told me you were at my exhibition yesterday.”

“Oh? Yeah, yeah, I was.” Armitage took a drink. “I was in the area.” He realized in that moment how stupid that sounded, because of course there was nothing else in that area.

“Why didn’t you come say hello?”

Armitage nearly sputtered his drink. Come say hello? As if they were old friends? As if everything was fine between them and they could just make small talk? If he hadn’t been sure before their relationship had meant next to nothing to Kylo, he was now.

“I didn’t want to interrupt your talk with Dark.” Oh yes. He had drunk too much now. That was not supposed to come out of his mouth. 

Kylo frowned. “I hardly talked to him that evening.”

“I can imagine.” He smiled and knew it must look vile. Still he could not stop. He was just a terrible, awkward and jealous person and he wished he had never started to talk. 

“I mean I hardly even saw him that night, Armitage.”

“He told me you were planning an exhibition together.”

“That’s not sure yet. Why are we talking about Dark? I came here to talk about us.”

“Us?” Armitage looked at the bottle of gin. He knew he should not. “There is no us anymore.”

“I know. And I thought that was what you wanted. I understood where you were coming from when you broke up with me.”

“You did?” That was interesting, because Armitage didn’t really understand anymore where he had been coming from.

“Yes. It broke my heart, but I really thought about it. About what you need in a relationship.”

Oh no, this wasn’t going well. All of this was completely wrong, and Armitage wanted it to stop. “We never had a relationship. We screwed around, you took me to some of your exhibitions, introduced me to some friends and we had some weird dates.”

“I know, but to me that is what a relationship is supposed to be like. I didn’t understand you expected something totally different.” He put his glass down on the table.

“That’s funny”, Armitage said. “Making it sound as if I was expecting things from you.”

“No, you didn’t”, Kylo said softly, as if he was talking to a child or a beloved animal. “You didn’t even consider me as a possible partner, right?”

“This is going over my head”, Armitage said. “I can’t tell if you are making fun of me. I think you should leave now.”

“I’ll leave if you want me to”, Kylo said. He looked up at Hux, pressing his hands together. It looked weird. As if he was begging for something. “Of course, I will. I just want to tell you that I can do things differently. If you tell me what you want and need in a relationship, I would be willing to try.”

“Why?” Armitage was sure that he was missing an important point.

“Because I want to be with you.”

“Why?”

Kylo smiled. “Now you’re being humble.”

“No seriously.” Armitage was starting to become angry. “Are you filming this? Is it some kind of project?”

Kylo stopped smiling immediately. “What is wrong with you, Armitage? Do you find it so unbelievable I want to be with you?”

“Yes, in fact I do. We have nothing in common. I don’t know anything about art, and you are chaos impersonated while I … well”, he made a gesture indicating his room. 

“So that was why you broke things off?”

“Among other things, yes.”

“Which other things?” Kylo still sounded calm and serious. “What made you feel uncomfortable, Armitage?”

“Do you really want to know?”

“Yes!”

Armitage took a deep breath. “That I was always sure you would never call me again. That I’d never see you again. I couldn’t stand that.”

Kylo bit his lip and quietly looked up at him and Armitage thought that it was just as well. Now he had finally driven him away. It was a relief, because this talk exhausted him to no end.

“I’m sorry I didn’t make you feel secure. I should have seen how you felt. I should have paid closer attention. I honestly thought you wanted your freedom, Armitage.”

He felt like crying in that moment and that was certainly due to the gin. “My fucking freedom”, he said. “I have so much of that I don’t even feel myself anymore.”  
“I misunderstood.”

Armitage shook his head. “You didn’t misunderstand. You just read into me what you yourself wanted. It’s you who didn’t want to get too attached and that is alright, Kylo. I’m just not the right partner for you.”

Kylo was quiet for a moment. He picked his glass up again and turned it between his fingers. “I get why it seems that way”, he said. “But I do want a serious relationship with you. Only with you.”

Armitage sat down in the Art Nouveau chair facing the sofa and Kylo. He didn’t feel his legs could carry him anymore. “You do?” It was almost inaudible. 

“I’m sorry. I should have made myself clear from the start. I wasn’t playing around or leading you on. I want you as my partner. For as long as you want to be with me.”

“Wait.” Armitage said. “Does that mean you did not have any other affairs while we were dating?”

“There hasn’t even been anyone since we broke up. I was devastated, Armitage. I was really into you. I still am.”

Armitage could have used another drink, but his head was already swimming and he was afraid he might become sick. He wasn’t used to this much alcohol after all. He buried his head in his hands. “Now you’re telling me.”

“I did not want to put pressure on you. You always seemed so aloof, so preoccupied. I thought you needed your time and space. I didn’t want to invade.”

Armitage nodded, not looking up. “I understand.”

“I thought you broke up with me, because I was getting on your nerves. That I was too chaotic, too demanding.”

“Did you send me the flyer for your exhibition?” Armitage asked, his voice sounding muffled, because his face was still buried in his hands.

“No, but I would have if I’d thought there was a chance you would come.”

“I see.”

“Armitage?”

“Hm?”

“Can you please look at me for a second?”

Armitage looked up.

“What if you give me one more chance? We’ll go on a normal date tomorrow and I promise I’ll do anything to make you feel you can trust me.”

“You will probably be disappointed.”

“Or you might be. Do you know what Armitage?”

“Yes?”

“You remind me a little of Puddleglum the marsh-wiggle.”

“What is a marsh-wiggle?” Armitage asked, feeling very tired now.

“A fantasy creature from Narnia. He always sees the negative in anything.” Kylo smiled. “I loved him so much as a child. Read “The Silver Chair” again and again.”

“That doesn’t sound like a compliment.” Armitage leaned back in his chair. “And I’m not a pessimist. Just a realist. This won’t work out.”

“I think we complement each other.”

“Being complete opposites doesn’t mean complementing each other.”

“Will you still go out on a date with me tomorrow?”

Armitage swallowed hard. “Yes.” He was surprised how fast he had answered this. 

Kylo smiled, his eyes warm and dark. “Thank you.”

Armitage felt as if he had just jumped from cliff. And there might be sharks in the water.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think. I know Armitage is a little complicated in this one...


End file.
